Top 10 Tips: Contact with your Children

1. Always be punctual – lateness leads to conflict between parents and may spoil the visit for the child.

2. Establish a pattern for contact visits as soon as possible.

3. Deal frankly, but sympathetically, with the issue of new partners, both with your former partner and with the children.

4. Recognise that as children get older, they have friendships, school activities and hobbies etc. and contact arrangements needs to take these into account.

5. Where time and space permits, spend time simply being with your children. This will help with your relationship with your child more than organised activities.

6. Don’t blame every physical ailment on the last contact visit.

7. Try not to question the children about your ex-partner’s personal life as the children will feel guilty and confused.

8. Do not use the children to get at your ex-partner.

9. Do not encourage the children to take sides, it is you who is getting divorced, not the children.

10. Try to consider that a parent with care may feel that the absent parent is trying to buy the child’s favour through presents but the absent parent is trying to show that he/she loves the child and may have a tendency to spoil them in the time available.